My Knowledge Will Kill You Someday
by KSdees
Summary: Levi found he wasn't ready to lose Hange, but the cost might be too high. A LeviHan fanfic and another tribute to my friend.


He knew it. Knew someday it would end like this. He knew if that shitty glasses kept endangering herself with those beasts, someday she wouldn't make it out laughing.

He didn't know it would be so soon.

" Squad Leader, it's dangerous-

-Squad Leader! "

Someone shouted behind. The usual banter, yet the horrified tone bespoke of a forgotten significance.

Levi shot pass before the last note of the scream rang out. He himself didn't shout. Better to catch it off-guard.

The Titan that caught Hanji stuffed her in its mouth, too fast for her to react. It gobbled her up head-first, without chewing, and in only a flash it took for Levi to get there, the only visible part of her is her legs.

With hurried desperation, he planted a hook into the Titan's cheek, causing it to squirm and throw its head about. Levi caught on to the cord, hanging on and reaching for the scientist's ankle. He grabbed it easily as the Titan started to still, and, admittedly driven by fear, tried to yank her out. In the corner of his eyes, he spotted a movement in the gigantic jaw muscle and almost froze. A wave of dread washed over him, followed by a perfect realisation akin to his awakening of power. A sensation of acceptance in the cruelty of this world. Suddenly, he just /understands/.

If he pull, the Titan's jaw would snap shut and shear her head off.

If he don't, it would tear her body in half, all the same.

There's just one way left.

Cursing that he could never pull her out in time, Levi _pushed_ with all his might, stopping his earlier yanking momentum and plunging Hanji, instead of outside, into the throat of the horrible beast.

Her feet made it into the cavern of its mouth just as the teeth snapped shut. Levi's arm, along with the rest of Hanji, was swallowed.

As soon as the limb was sheared off, Levi lost his hold of the cord he was gripping and fell. Without one hand, he manoeuvred his 3D gear with a single cord, rather than the usual two, and an unbalanced mass of body, straight into a nearby tree.

He crashed at such high speed that the bark exploded in a cloud of splinters. Levi managed to right himself at the last second and prevented severe damages, but he was bleeding from many shallow cuts. Getting a foothold on the tree and balancing himself with 20% of weight on his left side gone, he briefly pushed away a growing fear and assessed the situation.

The Titan momentarily unmoving, swallowing its meal. Other Titans killed by the rest of the Scouts. Hanji eaten but in one piece. Alive. Salvageable.

He gritted his teeth and lunged himself off with the only cord he have. No time to fumble. He learn to use this gear without half his body now. Or he learn to live without Hanji later.

The latter possibility was surprisingly hard to swallow.

The off-balanced-ness caused him to spin, increasing his speed.

Great, he could use that.

He flown around the Titan, keeping it confused and searching, all the time gaining speed. He can't kill it now, lest the contents it has swallowed evaporate with its corpse. Besides, he might not be able to do it quickly enough anyway. After all, he can wield only one blade at a time now. By the time he got the second blow to cross with the first, the Titan might have healed and he would probably be dead.

The thought would be difficult getting used to.

Levi shoved aside the unpleasant realisation and dove into an opening. Half in control of himself and half not, he slashed at the stomach, not daring to cut too deep without being able to precisely land the cut. Blood sprayed out.

Fortunately, the Titan was dumb enough not to double over and cradle its wound.

Another two such cuts and the innards start spilling out. Not yet falling out of the body but at least revealed.

Levi hang with a cord to the Titan's shoulder, tearing open the gut with his blade. He swung around precariously without a hand to stable himself.

'It's damn hard to do anything missing just a hand.' he thought. 'Shitty glasses better be grateful at the shitload of trouble I'm getting into to bring her out.'

He had cut out both its eyes and arm muscles priorly, and thus should be able to work safely for a while.

With the gut now opened, he let go of his single blade, leaving to hang in the air, sustained by the same cord as he is. With a cringe Levi grope into the moving flesh, feeling the hot blood spilling and coating his skin and staining his clothing and evaporating and-

His fingers, among the disgusting sludges and gore, feels an arm. He gripped it tightly, so full of both hope and dread he can vomit right then. Bracing a booted foot on the Titan's stomach, he pulled.

The figure coming out was bloodied, it's green cloak almost dyed wholly red, the Wings of Freedom coated over in a depressing kind of way. The body came out rather easily as the lower half of the body got sheared off. Probably on the way in.

It wasn't Hanji.

Levi let go of the corpse in brief horror. It fell down onto the ground below with an audible thud. He steadied himself, closing his eyes, feeling relieved that wasn't Hanji and guilty that he was just thankful one of his comrade had died.

He draws a deep breath, and shove his hand into the gaping hole again. He grope about and this time caught a mass of dark red-brown hair. This is it, it was her.

His breath caught in his throat. He feared that once he pulled her out, half of her will be missing, or she won't wake up, or some other terrible thing. But the gash was closing and time was running out. His severed arm throbbed. It was numb until now, but the pain is starting to come. He gritted his teeth against it and heaved Hanji out of the beast's innards.

It was hard work, and his vision is staring to flash from the pain. Hanji is almost all the way out, however, the wound healed too quickly. Flesh closed in on her ankle, unable to close up anymore than that, but still steaming with vapour.

Levi cursed.

He can't let go of Hanji now, and even if he can, his blade is still far out of reach.

Instead he kicked the edge of the wound. Keep smashing the same spot with his feet to rip the wound wider with the impact. He grind the healing meat with his heels, all the while retaining his slipping consciousness. Everything became a blur, but he kept pumping his leg and trying to pull the ankle out.

The wound tear a little wider at the edges and he thrust a foot in to keep it widened. Not quite carefully, he pulled Hanji's ankle out and she immediately became a dead weight on the cord meant to hold only half a person. It gave, not snapping in two but just get loose and they both pummel toward the ground.

Levi barely felt his right leg, the one still stuck in the hole, snapped. His mind was already so muddled he don't know where he is. They landed with Levi receiving the brunt of the damage, having hit the ground first. Dust flew around them.

There was a sound of blade slashing air and tearing flesh. The rest of the Region had took care of the Titan.

Levi sighed. Or tried to. It came out as more of a choke as he can't breath properly due to the pain and the weight on his chest.

Suddenly Hanji stirred.

A delighted squeal followed.

"Oh my god, ohhhhhhhh. Guess what!? I was in a Titan! Inside a Titan! I saw its digestive system and the juice they produce and the way they eat and how the people inside are still alive and so many other things! Oh gods, gods, gods! I need to write this down right!? What are you doing shorty. Get up and help me find a-

Hanji trailed off upon looking at the body she was sitting over and grasped. Rolling off him and coming to a kneeling position at his side, she said with a shaky voice.

"Levi? Hey, Levi, you're kidding... right? Oi, shorty. Say something..."

She was crying, her momentary joy gone in a flash. Levi had saved her from a Titan, and now he lies half dead just in front of her.

"...Shut up. Shitty glasses."

Hanji perked up at the hoarse voice. She had thought Levi was dying. After all, he was covered head to toe in blood and gore, the skin that are visible so pale you can almost see through it. His breathing was ragged. An arm was missing. A dozen cuts bleeding and one ankle twisted in a painful kind of way.

He dragged himself up into a sitting position, though, and lean on her shoulder to stand up all the way. He took a few steps on his own, toward his fallen blade, she realised, which was impressive considering the broken ankle. However, he was swaying terribly, barely balancing on his two feet, and by the third step, he proceeded to fall. Hanji almost couldn't caught him in time. Levi fell into her arms and they stayed in that position for quite sometime, Levi having lost consciousness and Hanji feeling guilty and unsure of what to do.

Erwin and the rest of the Scouts landed nearby. That brought Hanji out of her stupor.

"Erwin, sound the retreat." She said immediately, wishing with all her heart to get Levi tended. Erwin approached and said.

"I'm planning to. The mission was completed while Levi was risking himself and the whole Scout Region by refusing to accept a death and thus resulting in the lost of valuable resources. And I'm talking about both human and equipments. You should have known what you were getting into, Levi. We are already low on members and funds. We have lost another fighter, decreasing the overall survival chances greatly and moreover, along with two high quality equipments-

"Erwin, Levi's unconscious!" Hanji exclaimed. She can understand why he was so furious, but it's a bit too much right now.

Erwin stopped abruptly and really looked at Levi for the first time. He tensed and frowned.

"I guess reprimanding can wait until we're inside the Walls. Everyone, retreat. Captain Levi is to be taken back in a supply cart. We can't spare more, unfortunately, as some were destroyed. You ride with him, Squad Leader Hanji." And with that command, he left.

Erwin was outraged. Yes, he was shocked to see Levi injured so badly, probably to the extent that he wouldn't be able to fight anymore. And that would mean he is of no use now. He felt his insides coiled. He had treasured Levi's presence in the military, and also in terms of friendship, but he is a commander. A useless factor cannot be left alone to block his way.

Erwin pushed aside a horrid thought that just crossed his mind. Instead, he decided that it should be dealt within the refuge of the Walls. He still have soldiers to take back home after all.

Levi regained consciousness drowning in white, flashing pain. The numbness was gone, and so was the adrenaline. Now it hurts so much that it took time for his vision even to become the least bit usable.

As soon as he saw the ceiling, he knew where he was. Of course, if there _is_ a ceiling he was certainly not beyond the Walls. The hospital wing, perhaps, judging by the bright light.

That was unexpected.

He had thought he would land himself in the dungeons.

His act was bordering on treason, after all.

'Why the hell would Erwin put me in here...?'

His head hurts, and Levi found himself craving for painkillers. Turning his head slightly, he found some on the table at the edge of his vision.

'Those will do.' He thought, and pushed himself up with both hands... or tried to, as he immediately flipped to his left, landing right on the stump of his arm. He gritted his teeth until his gum and lips bleed to bite off the scream. With silent agony, he rolled back onto his back.

'Right, my arm was bit off. Shouldn't have forgot that. But, damn, it feels like it's still there!' Levi thought, wiping blood from his mouth with his remaining hand.

"Phantom limbs are by no means rare in amputated patients, shorty."

Hanji said out of the blue, as if reading his mind. He hadn't notice her coming in.

"And I can't read your mind either."

Levi gave his best glare to the red-haired scientist since he couldn't find a good remark. Instead he just said, "Shut up, shitty glasses."

"Heh? That's all you can say? Hmm, maybe your brain was damaged in the fall as well, but it shouldn't have... Ahh, I see, you're already an idiot, so the fall was—

"Liar."

"Huh? ...That's hardly lying, shorty, since—

"...Oi, you're crying, idiot. Stop bluffing."

Silence.

Uncomfortable, suffocating silence.

It was Levi who decided to break it.

"Oi, help me up, will you? It's not exactly comfortable here."

Hanji nodded, distractedly wiping her eyes. She was probably sobbing before.

Careful not to put too much pressure near the stump of Levi's arm, she helped him to a sitting position. "I'm sorry, Levi."

Levi almost perked up at that, he did his best to remain impassive, but the stump of his arm twitched. Having a nerve ending where it shouldn't is damn inconvenient.

Hanji didn't notice, or ignored it, and continue, "It's rude or inconsiderate or disrespectful or whatever, but I feel so guilty, Levi. I'm so sorry. You shouldn't be in here, and... and neither should I."

"We're going to die someday anyway. Does it matter when or how?" Levi asked. Hesitantly, he put his arm around her shoulder, she leaned down and rest her head on his. "Ask yourself this, is it a sin to survive? You do that all the time. _We_ do that all the time. Survive over the corpse of comrades. What makes this time different? I'm injured? You should have been dead? They're common occurrences, aren't they? I'm sure you know this, but it seems you need some damned reminding...

Here's the tip for being sane in here, shitty glasses... Don't be too hard on yourself."

She nodded, face still buried in Levi's shoulder.

"You know, shorty, the higher-ups finally grant me a permission to experiment on getting someone out of a Titan's body! Finally! The Military Police doesn't even have a chance to say anything against it, you see! Erwin's planning a safe expedition a short way outside to capture some first specimens. I'm so excited!" For a moment, Hanji sounded like herself again. But it soon faded.

"It's such a shame you won't be on it, shorty. The expedition, I mean. I bet it would be a lot easier if you could come with us."

"...They're getting rid of me, aren't they?" Levi asked.

"Putting you to court, yes, for their proper 'justification'. They're going to say that you received a serious injury and retired, because you're a hero to the crowd, Levi. Then, behind all of those, they'll get rid of you, because you won't be of use anymore."

"Those bastards have their sense with them."

"What'd you do?"

"Do I look like I can do anything but fight? You succeeded, right? What you call prosthetic limbs?"

Hanji looked at the drawer beside Levi's bed, where she'd prepared an artificial arm for him. She'd known this would happen and built it as soon as they returned.

"Yeah, but it's going to take time getting one of those. There're a lot of patients nowadays. The expedition didn't go well, after all."

Levi nodded, and Hanji sighed.

Not now.

She can't stand risking Levi again now.

"I have to continue with my research. I'll call a doctor on my way out."

Levi nodded. Hanji gave a last glance at the drawer and walked away, closing the door behind her.

Levi reached for the painkillers someone put beside his bed, but his eyes are on the wooden cabinet Hanji had so subtly shifted her gaze to before.

"It's there, isn't it? The prosthetic arm." He asks no one in particular. The voice rang through the silent room like devil whispering in his ears.

With that, he can fight.

With that, he will have meaning again.

He reached closer, but there was no hand in sight, and the truth crashed home.

 _I'm trapped, again._

Suddenly the Walls seems a much, much smaller place.

The first research expedition went quite smoothly, with minimal loss. A specimen was captured, animals were tried putting into the Titan's mouth and then the gut was sliced open to get the animal out. Its conditions afterwards are being measured by a research team. Humanity comes close to yet another method to reduce the loss of lives.

Hanji walked out of a doctor's office, having finished her section of mental treatment.

She is spiraling too quickly into despair. Everyone assumes it's because of the shock when she was eaten, but only she knows what it really is: Levi.

The prosthetic arm was still there, in the locked drawer just within his reach.

During the last few months, there are many courts held to judge how to deal with the former Corporal, and she can see him suffer through all of it.

Levi doesn't like being powerless. He can pretty much live by himself without an arm now, which is the most frightening rate of recovery humanity has ever seen.

However, he also doesn't like being reminded he cannot fight, nor use the manuevre gear again.

With each time a trail came, each time that sentence was repeated, his face grew tighter. Bags form under his eyes now, and he struggled to recover his body, while his whole mental health deteriorate.

If only she could give his the limb, the prosthetic one she had already made.

Then he would fly again.

He would fight again.

And she feared, he might risk himself for her again.

She was caught in an impasse with no way to move. She knew she's hurting both of them at the same time. She knew how hard it is to be striped of the only thing your life is worth for.

If only she could make the decision.

If only she could unlock that cursed cabinet.

Only it's hard, knowing that her knowledge of that prosthetic limb will eventually kill him someday.


End file.
